Ashley and Ryan, an excerpt

To have close friends is to approach a fuller life. 

In a book called The Four Loves, the author CS Lewis recalls the days when he and his friends met regularly, pulling up chairs around a small table in an Oxford pub. He describes how one person at that table has the ability, just by being around, to bring something unique and different out of each of the others. For Lewis, when any one person at the table is surrounded by close friends, and when those close friends are all drawing out of the one something distinctive and something exceptional, then and only then is that person most wholly himself or herself. He writes, “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.”  

This evening Ryan and Ashley want to take a moment of their wedding ceremony, the beginning in fact, to honor one of those friends, one who sits at their table, who is not able to be here today.   

For the next eleven months, Josh Hemmings is on active duty in the Republic of Iraq. In your programs you will notice that he is named honorary groomsman because in Ashley’s words “he certainly would have been in the wedding party had he been in town.” Ryan and Ashley want to communicate their excitement that Josh’s family is in attendance in his place this evening. And as the harpist performs a rendition of “America the Beautiful,” I would like to invite us all to acknowledge the service and the friendship of Corporal Joshua Chandler Hemmings of the United States Marines.

Jessica and David, an excerpt

Considering his lover, the author of the ancient love story recorded in the Song of Songs penned these words, “How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!…You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes.”

As I understand it, the first glance for these two occurred in the seventh grade, as David was one of Jessica’s first boyfriends. Sadly, yet in true middle school fashion, they broke up that same year. But only to reunite their senior year of high school, thanks in part to a scheduling coincidence where they found themselves solving for derivatives together in Pre-Cal. And thanks also in part to the senior Prom, which they attended together.

Senior year of high school. Over five years ago.

Five years is enough time for love to be tested, refined to a certain extent, not complete, but cultivated with effort, experience, and counsel. For many, the choice of a marriage partner is one of the very freest choices we make as human beings. And if anything has been made clear to me from our conversations and from the words of your friends and family…it is that you, David, have chosen Jessica…and you, Jessica, have chosen David. Your choice consists not of a singular judgment but rather a series of decisions. And while most in attendance know how you have planned and thought and worked and waited throughout these years…we probably have no idea how you have anticipated this event.

Well it’s here.

…and it’s good.

And now is when I say, “Dearly beloved…”

 

photos: Callie Murray

Tammy and AJ, an excerpt

I have known you both for a long time. Even still, I didn’t want what I had to say today to be limited to my own perspective. So I did a bit of research. I asked your wedding party two questions. The second is predictable and the simplest: What is your favorite thing about Tammy and AJ’s relationship? The first is a bit more provocative, and I don’t know why it came to my mind, but it did and powerfully: If Tammy or AJ were an animal, what animal would they be and why?

One groomsmen says, “AJ would be a llama. He reminds me of the llama from emperor’s new groove, and he has some llama-like characteristics.” Concerning the second question, this groomsmen replies, “I haven’t really been around them enough or know enough about their relationship to answer, but this I can say: AJ seems really happy.”

One bridesmaid says, “If Tammy were an animal she would be a baby bunny….because they are the cutest things in the world!!! And my favorite thing about Tammy and AJ’s relationship is how intentional they are with each other. They are so respectful of one another, of how the other is feeling, and they both put the other above themselves. I can see divine love in the way they love each other.”

Concerning the animal question, a different groomsman replies, “I’m thinking pig because of how much they refer to each other as ‘babe’ and it makes me think of babe the pig. Also a gazelle, because I imagine AJ running through an African prairie, able to prance over all the fallen limbs and rocks without any problem and still be able to keep up with the herd. He has great legs.”

About the relationship, the same groomsman writes, “I love how much they laugh together.”

And now interestingly, with you, Tammy, we start to see a theme emerge. It’s not so much that your bridesmaids compare you with the characteristics as much as the appearance of certain animals.

We’ve already heard the bunny bit, but another bridesmaid says, “Tammy is like a monkey because she is goofy and makes the best monkey face!” Another still says, “Tammy would be a hippo… just ask her to make her hungry hippo face– you’ll see why.”

Now, I’m not going to ask you that right now because this is a wedding. But I want to encourage all the guests to ask her that later. Just say, “Show me the hippo.”

Alicia and Faron, an excerpt

AND “NOW FOR THE VOWS”

Here I would like to encourage all couples to reaffirm their vows as Alicia and Faron proclaim theirs… 

Faron, Do you promise to love Alicia?  Do you commit yourself to her in all honor and faithfulness, partnering with her for the journey of life, encouraging her and helping her to realize the person God made her to be? Do you promise to live with her, and laugh with her; love and cherish her according to the commands of God’s Word as long as you both shall live? 

  (“I do. “) 

Then will you repeat your vows to her:

“BEFORE OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY,

AND BEFORE GOD

I, FARON, TAKE YOU ALICIA,

TO BE MY BELOVED WIFE,

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD,

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE,

WHETHER RICH OR POOR,

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,

TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH,

TILL DEATH DO US PART.”

the Not Wedding

Good evening. 

How can anyone bring themselves to affirm that they will care for another person twenty years from now?  It is one thing to promise your girlfriend that you will pick her up at eight o’clock; it is quite another to give her your pledge that you will love her for the rest of your life.  The marriage vows are simple ones, but remarkable both for the extremity of their selflessness, and also for the fact that in most cases they turn out to be the only true vows either partner will ever make, let alone hold to, in their entire lives.   

On behalf of the couple…and on behalf of all those who have thought and planned and worked to make this fantastic event possible, it is my pleasure to welcome you this Sunday afternoon to the NOT wedding. 

Let’s make no mistake about it: this is a party, a celebration. And today we celebrate not just all that which goes into making the wedding occasion unique among all others, but also marriage itself. For the NOT wedding celebrates both essence and experience…beauty and virtue.  

We celebrate flowers and music and apparel and décor and dance and fine food. And we honor the pledge that couples make as they throw all natural caution and defensiveness to the winds and put themselves entirely in the hands of love by an act of the will. The NOT wedding celebrates falling in love…as well as marching into it boldly.  

Ladies and Gentlemen…It is with great pleasure that I now present to you for the first time the 2008…

MR. AND MRS. NOT COUPLE!

photo: Callie Murray

Audrey and Zack, an excerpt

In many other, if not most, countries, the choice of a marriage partner is influenced by money, by politics, by work, by trusted friends, and more often than perhaps we realize, solely by the will of parents.

In our culture, however, many suggest that the choice of a marriage partner is one of the very freest choices we make as human beings. But to what extent is family involved in matchmaking? And if they are involved, to what degree does their involvement infringe upon this, one of our “freest choices”?  

Zack and Audrey, it strikes me that during your courtship you had at least two tremendous decisions before you. The first was whether or not to move ahead in your relationship without the blessing of parents. And I know that the admonition to wait came initially as a surprise. The second decision, and one that followed logically, was whether or not Zack was worth the wait, and whether Audrey was worth the wait. For having made the decision to get married long ago, it was as if you needed to make this decision once again, yet this time in different circumstances and on different terms. 

Well, now…today…your choices are clear. 

Having chosen one another yet again, having waited patiently, and having received with joy the full blessing of your parents, it seems to me that the involvement of your parents did not infringe, but rather enriched your relationship. For yours is a tested, a refined, not a complete, but a love cultivated with time and effort, and through guidance and counsel.  

Simply put, floods came. And they could not drown your love.

Congrats guys!

photo: Callie Murray

Mallory and Jameson, an excerpt

I don’t know if you know this but in addition to being a college grad, a part time school teacher and researcher, somewhat of a web designer, and, from what I understand, a fantastic financial advisor at Primerica, Jameson Brewer is also a Native-American dancing champion. I’m totally serious. And while he doesn’t have a degree in this art, if I remember correctly he holds championships in Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and perhaps a few other southern States, I don’t know. I have never seen him dance, but I know that some of the things involved in these dances are: colorful feathers, hula-hoops, and, on occasion, flaming torches. In fact, this evening at the reception, Jameson will be performing a special dance for all of us wedding guests.  

Actually, no, I made that up. 

But I want to say this: Jameson, you’re a special guy. You are a very talented individual. You’re super organized with an entrepreneurial spirit. You’re a role model for young people, an inspiration to your friends. You are someone on whom others gladly depend. And you’re a dancing fool. And…Mallory is a lucky girl. 

Mallory, you, too, are the real deal.  You love well and you live well. You’re also super organized. You have a sensitive and caring heart, a passion for God and for the things of God. People love your presence; it is, for them, a good thing to be around you. And, truly, Jameson is a lucky man. 

I say these things to you both not to puff you up or to make you feel good.  But I know that the support and encouragement of family and friends is extremely valuable to you. Well, you’ve got it. I want to say publicly what I am convinced all of us already are thinking: We love you.  We support you. We’re proud of you both.  And we’re so honored to be your family and friends.